Kiekkoliiga
Mitalistit – Kiekko Cup XIII
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ISIS Warriors Desperados

Beginning

Sad ISIS freestyle

Desperados is ISIS, 9/11 crysis,
everything is on fire, nitrik and napsu admire
fucking up defense is their prior, Gusev is the same thats why they hire him, Frosty poor frosty strugglin with playin in, meltin him, starvin him,
no puck, no luck - only bombs that keep making him suck, so jump under truck... tragical death and tragical season, because of no reason, these kids had parents, these pricks like nitriks and napsus had patents of being normal humans, being normal humans was one task - all they knew was some tower blast, collect coins fast, G-Fsev on drugs, receiving teletubie hugs, Frosty now an alcoholic, depressive story, of ISIS group that wanted glory... nitrik is virgin, napsu keeps wanking,
and the team just keeps sucking...divari standings... thanks for the season,  and thankfull to Jeesus, even though I dont believe to God,
this season was hard...


This pre-season looked kinda promising at some point - this team was combined
of young and unexperienced players and those who were seen a bit from this game and had some small achievements. ISIS members napsu and nitrik were
supposed to be one of most dangerous duo not only for planes and skycrappers but also in
opponents defensive zone. In reality they kept planting mines in own end costing
Gusev, the kiekko.tk Rooba, after one unexpected mine explosion to run away as fast as possible, unfortunately he still thinks he is in danger so he yet hasnt stopped running, even though we tried to tie him at own goal post but unfortunately he ran away with entire goal post, making our net have even more empty places to score. Meanwhile Frosty was awaiting for winter, because at
this temperature he was melting, leaving water all over the place, often slipping on it and falling down. Teammates were forced to use their freezers to produce more snow and ice for the poor Frostman, but suddenly they werent able to
do that because nitrik was juggling on electricity cabels with homemade C4s leaving
half Europe without electricity.

The positive in this season? That its over...
If being more optimistic, then till end of season this team improved its one-timer rate, scoring more than just 1/10, I consider this as an achievement. Lets now look closely at offense and defense for our team this season.

Offense: napsu and nitrik were really offensive...so offensive they made other
teams defense look like an offense. Also this Gusev guy who pretends to be yp, I didnt know where to put him - offense or defense, so I will just mention him on both sides. Some goals were scored, I dont know was that doping or just
lucky day but overall, nothing impressive. A lot of jalkakyna, ookke, small passing game,
very individual plays.

Defense: Frosty who was already immune to all kind of drugs for nervs till end
of season, because of the often usage and then again this Gusev guy, who was yp, so mentioning him here aswell, tho sometimes napsu played yp, but well...So yeah, not the best performance by snowman this season, from an All-Star to worst
paq in entire season.

Gusev - okay okay, mentioning him as yp, his season was full with psycological
tests, he got arrested by police because they found him a bottle of coke in pocket
during local Eesti party in Saku bar. During his jailtime, he met some drug dealer
in the cell, who put him on wrong track of life - he started to use drugs and since that, his running has gotten out of control. Every day he keeps telling Kliiga cancels their deadline, avauses to opposite side, at one-timer decides
to go and score wrist oma maali...we must help this guy, before he literally kills himself
by running into wall or something. Please, donate 1 pm for Gusevs healthcare, you
will be rewarded with dose of drugs or C4.

Overall, pretty funny season, we managed to take down a lot of planes and towers,
so Desperados must be proud of what they achieved.

Thanks to: napsu, nitrik, Gusev, Frosty, ariana, Thierry, Spears and lets take a
moment of silence for Capu...R.I.P.
Especially thanks to: All Kiekkoliiga and Divari teams, johtos, tuomaris and
everyone else who I didnt mention. :)

Kirjoittanut: Desperados
Julkaistu 02.11.2015 22:08
Luettu: 2465 kertaa

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